im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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