I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
