What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
