First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
