Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
false alarm. still invincible.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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