I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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