I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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