id be glad to
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
FUCK WHALES
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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