the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
