they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
