i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So much rum. So many feels.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
