ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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