That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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