1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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