So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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