i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
