Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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