Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
