I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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