yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
