I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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