After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
