What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
