Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
