just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
