New invention idea: vibrating tampons
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
