She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
