sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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