matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
