he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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