could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
