I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
