What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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