my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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