Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
