Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
