i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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