I wanna bring you to show and tell
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
