I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize