Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dick very happy bro
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
