if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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