does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
