Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
