I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
