Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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