shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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