do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
another moral hangover. fuck.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
