I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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