Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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