That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
