my mouth tastes like poor choices
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it's like heaven, but drunker
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
