Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
