If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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