Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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