you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
