Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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